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Gottman's 5:1 Magic Ratio

Reusability

Successful relationships maintain at least 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction. Below this ratio, relationships are at higher risk of dissolution

How It Works

Negative interactions have stronger psychological impact than positive ones. The 5:1 ratio creates enough positive buffer to maintain overall relationship satisfaction despite inevitable conflicts

Components

Track positive vs negative interactions over time

Intentionally increase positive interactions

Don't just reduce negatives - actively build positives

Focus on micro-moments, not just big gestures

When to Use

When assessing relationship health, designing team dynamics, or recovering from conflict periods

When Not to Use

Not as a strict mathematical formula - quality matters as much as quantity

Anti-Patterns to Avoid

Thinking you can bank positive interactions for later negative onesFocusing only on reducing negatives without building positivesUsing it as a scorecard to judge your partner

Example

“After a tense budget discussion (negative), intentionally create 5 positive moments: appreciation for their concern, physical affection, shared laughter, acknowledging their good point, and planning something fun together”