My First Million
The best business ideas come from noticing what's working and doing it better, faster, or for a different audience.
Giving Contest vs. Taking Contest Framework
98% of relationships are 'taking contests' where people measure what they get. The 2% that thrive are 'giving contests' where both parties focus on what they can contribute rather than what they receive
How It Works
When you focus on giving, you inspire reciprocal giving and expand the total pie. When you focus on taking/measuring, you create tit-for-tat dynamics that shrink the pie through defensive behaviors
Components
Ask 'How can I give more?' instead of 'What am I getting?'
Stop measuring contributions
Assume positive intent from your partner
Focus on expanding the pie, not claiming your slice
When to Use
In long-term partnerships (business or personal), when relationships feel transactional, or when resentment is building
When Not to Use
With people who consistently take advantage, in clearly defined transactional relationships, or when safety/boundaries are at risk
Anti-Patterns to Avoid
Example
“Instead of thinking 'I handled the last client crisis, so Sam should handle this one,' think 'How can I best support us getting through this crisis, regardless of who did what last time?'”
Related Knowledge
De-escalate conflicts before they become damaging fights
Arguments stay productive and don't damage relationships.
Prevent conflicts by aligning on intentions before discussing actions
Disagreements focus on methods and outcomes rather than character assassination.
sunk_cost_arguing
Forest Fire Conflict Model
Conflicts don't start as fights - they begin as accumulated small irritations (like dry brush on forest floor) that rema
Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Four communication patterns that predict relationship failure: criticism (attacking character), contempt (superiority/di
Gottman's 5:1 Magic Ratio
Successful relationships maintain at least 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction.