My First Million
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De-escalate conflicts before they become damaging fights
Anyone in recurring conflict situations - couples, business partners, team members
Immediate use during conflicts, builds skills over monthsWhat Success Looks Like
Arguments stay productive and don't damage relationships. Both parties feel heard and respected even during disagreements
Steps to Execute
Recognize when escalation is happening
Use humor appropriately to break tension
Take a break when emotions are too high
Say 'I'm sorry, that's not what I meant, what I mean is...'
Acknowledge the other person's point before making your own
Use 'whoop' or similar reset mechanism to start over
Checklist
Inputs Needed
- Emotional self-awareness
- Commitment to the relationship over being right
- Pre-agreed reset mechanisms
- Practice identifying early warning signs
Outputs
- Preserved relationship trust
- Faster conflict resolution
- Better problem-solving
- Reduced emotional damage
Example
“You realize you're in a 'yes but' pattern where you agree then immediately contradict. Stop and say 'Actually, let me try that again. I hear that you're concerned about X, and that makes total sense. Can we figure out how to address that together?'”
Related Knowledge
Forest Fire Conflict Model
Conflicts don't start as fights - they begin as accumulated small irritations (like dry brush on forest floor) that rema
Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Four communication patterns that predict relationship failure: criticism (attacking character), contempt (superiority/di
Gottman's 5:1 Magic Ratio
Successful relationships maintain at least 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction.
Giving Contest vs. Taking Contest Framework
98% of relationships are 'taking contests' where people measure what they get.
sunk_cost_arguing
Prevent conflicts by aligning on intentions before discussing actions
Disagreements focus on methods and outcomes rather than character assassination.