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Forest Fire Conflict Model

Reusability

Conflicts don't start as fights - they begin as accumulated small irritations (like dry brush on forest floor) that remain unaddressed until a minor trigger (dropped cigarette) ignites them into major arguments

How It Works

Small unresolved issues create emotional 'debris' that builds over time. When someone drops a metaphorical cigarette (minor disagreement), it can either be quickly extinguished or catch fire and burn down the whole relationship forest

Components

Identify accumulating 'debris' (unaddressed small issues)

Create systems to 'clear the forest floor' regularly

When cigarettes drop, extinguish immediately

Don't let small sparks become wildfires

When to Use

When you notice patterns of escalating conflicts in relationships, to understand why small issues become big fights, and for preventing conflict escalation

When Not to Use

Not applicable for acute one-time conflicts or situations involving abuse where immediate action is needed

Anti-Patterns to Avoid

Thinking 'it's just a small thing' and ignoring accumulated issuesBelieving conflicts come out of nowhereFocusing only on the trigger event, not the buildup

Example

“A couple keeps having the same argument about dishes. The real issue isn't today's dirty plate - it's six months of unaddressed feelings about household responsibility that finally ignited when one person made a comment about the sink”