My First Million
The best business ideas come from noticing what's working and doing it better, faster, or for a different audience.
Everyone is the Hero of Their Own Story
Every person, regardless of their actions, views themselves as acting righteously and justified in their behavior. This includes everyone from saints to serial killers.
Decision Rule
When in conflict, assume the other person believes they are acting correctly and try to understand their heroic narrative rather than convincing them they're wrong
How It Works
Our brains are wired to maintain positive self-image through rationalization. We naturally frame our story to make ourselves the protagonist facing justified challenges
Failure Modes
Trying to convince someone they're the villain
Assuming others act from malicious intent
Getting frustrated when logical arguments don't change minds
Forgetting that you also have this bias
Example Decision
“Instead of arguing with a difficult client about why they're wrong, first understand what story they're telling themselves where they're the reasonable party being mistreated, then work within that narrative”
Related Knowledge
Fights are natural and inevitable in long-term relationships
Don't panic or assume the relationship is doomed when conflicts arise - they're part of healthy long-term dynamics
The body keeps the score - emotional conflicts create physical symptoms
Take emotional conflicts seriously because they have real physical health impacts
Forest Fire Conflict Model
Conflicts don't start as fights - they begin as accumulated small irritations (like dry brush on forest floor) that rema
Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Four communication patterns that predict relationship failure: criticism (attacking character), contempt (superiority/di
Gottman's 5:1 Magic Ratio
Successful relationships maintain at least 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction.
Giving Contest vs. Taking Contest Framework
98% of relationships are 'taking contests' where people measure what they get.