My First Million
The best business ideas come from noticing what's working and doing it better, faster, or for a different audience.
People who are generally emotionally healthy and avoid conflict are actually worse at handling it when it does occur, because they lack practice and developed skills
The Reasoning
Like any skill, conflict resolution requires practice. People who rarely encounter conflict don't develop the emotional regulation, communication techniques, and repair mechanisms that frequent conflict navigators learn
What Needs to Be True
- Conflict resolution involves learnable skills
- Practice is required for skill development
- Emotionally stable people avoid conflict more
- Avoidance prevents skill development
Counterargument
Emotionally healthy people might be better at preventing conflicts altogether, which is more valuable than being good at resolving them
What Would Change This View
Evidence that conflict-avoidant people can rapidly develop conflict skills when needed, or that conflict avoidance itself is a superior strategy
Implications for Builders
Deliberately practice difficult conversations
Don't assume your general emotional health translates to conflict skills
Create safe spaces to develop conflict resolution abilities
Recognize this as a specific skill gap to address
Example Application
“A generally calm CEO realizes they're terrible at board conflicts because they've avoided them for years. They specifically study negotiation, practice repair attempts, and build conflict resolution skills separate from their general leadership abilities”
Related Knowledge
Forest Fire Conflict Model
Conflicts don't start as fights - they begin as accumulated small irritations (like dry brush on forest floor) that rema
Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Four communication patterns that predict relationship failure: criticism (attacking character), contempt (superiority/di
Gottman's 5:1 Magic Ratio
Successful relationships maintain at least 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction.
Giving Contest vs. Taking Contest Framework
98% of relationships are 'taking contests' where people measure what they get.
De-escalate conflicts before they become damaging fights
Arguments stay productive and don't damage relationships.
Prevent conflicts by aligning on intentions before discussing actions
Disagreements focus on methods and outcomes rather than character assassination.